Black or White

Violent (famously known for throwing a jewelled encrusted mobile phone at her housekeeper) and verbally abusive supermodel, Naomi Campbell is making headlines again. This time - she stirred the fashion world by throwing rocks at top fashion magazines for discriminating against black models. She has claimed that, the face to grace the cover of these magazines over the past 5 years are that of white, pasty-skinned beauties. A veteran in the modelling profession, Ms Campbell was the first black model to ever appear on the cover of powerhouse fashion magazines like Vogue, Harpers Bazaar and ELLE in the 90's.

Going through puberty in the mid-90's, Nina G recalls leafing through Cleo (a cheaper option to Vogue) and admiring Ms Campbell for her stunning beauty (she is also1/4 Chinese). Everyone worshipped those lips! It was all the fad at the time, to have Naomi Campbell's lips. If only Nina G knew about collagen implants back then! But she digresses...

Are these claims by Ms Campbell unfounded? Nina G says - forget black or white. Naomi - Nina G agrees that beauty is colour blind. But ask yourself this - are you a good role model for young aspiring black models? Are your trantrums and and foul moods justifiable? Do you think your criminal convictions should be admired and applauded? Nina G thinks not. Racial discrimination is indeed extremely immoral. And so are bouts of violent assaults and verbal abuses. Nina G hopes that the 5 days community service (cleaning toilets) and 2 days mandatory anger management class inflicted upon you has taught you a lesson. You walked into those toilets a damned woman and walked out with a fabulous pair of Christian Louboutin boots!

I Want A Little Sugar In My Bowl

Wet...is rain. The heavens opened and cried again this morning (well, it hasn't exactly stopped from the night before) It's 7.35 in the morning as Nina G sits in the train listening to the legendary Nina Simone singing songs of love, hope and civil rights. The high priestess of soul who suffered from bi-polar disorder. What a voice though - silky and sultry.

Struck with a severe attack of Monday blues, Nina G attempts to shift her thoughts to one of happiness and loving-kindness (how very Buddhist). She fails. What could have brought on this onslaught of negativitiy? Maybe it was the disappointing, much hyped new episode of Kath and Kim on television last night. Or, maybe it was waking up alone again - cold and lonely. She feels a headache coming. It's time for coffee and some sugar in her bowl.

Torn - Transaustralia

Hot in the news this weekend is Natalie Imbruglia's (of Neighbours fame) cousin who is challenging the powers that be in an effort to be recognised as a woman named Stefanie instead of a man named Stephen. Nina G applauds this war. Yes, Stafanie is our resident T-girl (Transsexual) and looking great at 42! (which is the new 32). Look at this glorious picture of Stefanie standing poised and statuesque with a Malaysia Airlines aircraft in the background. (Yes, Malaysia, truly Asia, a land overflowing with T-girls galore! Also rudely known as 'Mak Nyah')

Ms Imbruglia is due to complete her transition from male to female in Thailand (surprise, surprise!) this October. Apparently, the powers that be has scrapped the right for T-girls to apply for an interim passport that would list her 'intended' sex rather than her current gender. She has one of two alternatives - travel as a MAN (which would be psychologically damaging, i'm sure) or travel GENDERLESS (barbaric!). Sacrilegious! Nina G is outraged by this piece of news. Good luck Ms Imbruglia on fighting a worthy cause. You have Nina G's complete backing. She will do whatever it takes - burn her bra, go naked and stick pins into effigies in the fight to be gendered appropriately. Sometimes, it's hard to be...a woman.

On a lighter note, Nina G ponders if the song Torn by Natalie Imbruglia is in fact, about her cousin Stefanie. Listen,

I'm all out of faith

This is how i feel

I'm cold and i am shamed lying naked on the floor

Illusion never changed into something real

I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

You're a little late, I'm already torn

Torn... (get it?)

Well, she would be in a couple of weeks anyway.

Electric Youth

As Nina G sits staring out into space, she began to wonder - Whatever happened to Debbie Gibson? The sweet teeny bopper from the late 80's who brought such trashy classic hits like 'Out of the Blue', 'Fooling Heart', Lost in you Eyes' and of course, 'Electric Youth'. Ah yes, Electric Youth - the year 1989. It was the year that Nina G was made school prefect to police the grounds of her ill-reputed primary school. She was ordered to record the names of late-comers, spitters, gropers, rock throwers and pupils who misused the water cooler machine (some mistook it for a bidet - ok ok she exaggerates!) The names of these juvenile delinquents were then passed on the the headmistress of the school (a merciless Mrs Zubaidah) who was intolerant of hoodlums (not unlike Dolores Umbridge). It wasn't until afterwards, through the grapevine, that Nina G learnt of the horrific torture that went on behind closed doors. No one knows for sure, but some claim that Mrs Zubaidah's favourite weapon of punishment was the wooden stick she used as a door stop. Others say it was a mini electric chair for little naughty children which would have resulted in a handful of electrocuted youths.

Forever Young

Ms Donna Tell All has publicly accused Nina G of desperately seeking publicity by expressing herself on a no-holds-barred blog website. How dare you, Ms Donna Tell All? How could you, after years and years of mentor/mentee friendship (which dates back to 1999) make such an illicit, groundless and most of all hurtful accusation on Nina G! But you are forgiven for your misdemeanour. Nina G understands that being an enterprising and ruthless businesswoman (PR sweetie dah-ling!) such as yourself, you are occasionally clouded by wrongful judgements.

Yesterday, the 30-something Ms Donna Tell All revealed a little secret to Nina G. She claims that she is currently dating a young, juicy and tender (quote, unquote) 25 year old. What is it with 30-something women in power and their younger men? Ms Donna Tell All also encouraged Nina G to 'try out' this forbidden fruit. But no, Nina G is a great believer that men of slight experience (think Clive Owen and not Sean Connery) make better companions and are less commitment phobic. These frivolous 20-something boys or worst, teeny boppers are often tawdry and cash strapped. A human mattress. Mind you, Nina G is still very much a 20-something girl but is indeed a rare diamond in the rough. She does not fit the mould so harshly described above. Or perhaps, she may just be bitter? Burned one too many times with scars to prove and remind her? I'm afraid readers - you will never know. What with her next birthday looming close, she might be suffering from pre-birthday jitters and the realisation that she is beyond her quarter life crisis. Please, Nina G implore you to have sympathy.

To Ms Donna Tell All - Nina G raises her delicate Martini glass (Lychee Martini - yum) and congratulate you on garnering yourself a 'tender and juicy' spring chicken to play with. Perhaps Nina G has missed the point. Perhaps a 30-something woman like yourself would like to be reminded of youth, vibrance and vitality. (virility too one would hope!) Perhaps Ms Donna Tell All is trying to spread the gospel that if one sets their mind to it, one can be...Forever Young. Even if it means just dating 'younger' men.

Rush Rush

She was at the ticket barrier when she heard the train pull up at Green Square station. Shit, it's already 7.21am! Nina G ran down the stairs with fierce velocity. Heels clacking like crazy. Oopps - almost tripped on the last step. These darn Jimmy Choo's! (Or so she wished) Wait! She hears the sound of whistle blowing and forces herself into the closest carriage. Hand-bag almost caught between the doors. Phew! She made it. That, was close.

Upon gathering her composure, she looks up and heaven shone upon her - an angel in a business suit (no dress down Friday?). This mascular vision of blonde and blue. She attempts to get his attention. She flips her hair - no response. She clears her throat - no response. She feigns falling over - no response. Then, she caught her reflection - she was taken aback. She looked like death. Sigh, she swore to always put a little lippy and mascara on next time before leaving the house. Or at least, remove the curlers in her hair from the night before...

The Night We Called It A Day

Nina G is exhausted! She just spent the last 30 minutes 'exit moulding' her bathroom. Auntie Ditsy Dixie from overseas is visiting her tomorrow you see. Being a true Virgo, a perfectionist, she wants everything spick and span. Her apartment has been de-criminalised - condoms and dutch caps tucked safely in her knicker drawer. Obscene reading materials i.e The Vagina Monologues, He's Just Not That Into You (absolute rubbish!) packed in the broom closet with the half empty bottles of Vodka and various other alcoholic beverages. Autie Ditsy Dixie is a health freak and will tolerate no decadent lifestyle. So, for 2 whole days, Nina G will be the perfect niece and play the perfect hostess to her favourite aunt.

Toodle pip!

Big Girls Don't Cry

Who would have thought that someone skanky like Fergie could come up with such a meaningful song like 'Big Girls Don't Cry'. After all the upheavels that Nina G has endured thus far in 2007, this song resonates dearly in her heart.

Although, for the slender Nina G, this song should be aptly retitled to 'Petite Girls Don't Cry'. Thank you very much.

All together now...

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself instead of calamity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And 'petite' girls don't cry...don't cry...don't cry

That's all.

A Public Affair

It's 2.20pm mid-week. Nina G is slumped in her chair facing a screen full of numbers that are making no fucking sense. She's so bored she wished she had a mirror to examine her pores (she has just recently purchased a beauty therapy package at Beauty Culture - buy 6 intensive facial treatments and get 1 free) Nina G is such a sucker for good deals.

Suddenly - You've got mail! Who could it be? It's Ms Wits and Bits! Well, hello there! The last she wrote, a rather handsome high ranking executive with a reputable firm is hot on her heels. A persistent letch despite the fact that he is...well, MARRIED! This poses a small problem for poor Ms Wits and Bits. What with being brought up a good Catholic girl and all. But make no mistake, Ms Wits and Bits is beyond all that religious contraints. She is a woman with insatiable needs and desires. She is unmistakeably...an adulteress!

A series of e-mails soon ensued revealing pictures of this allegedly hot looking high ranking executive. Nina G concurs - he is hot Hot HOT! Not an adulteress herself but if coerced, Nina G will submit to this carnal sin. However, being a woman of virtue, Nina G decides to say the right thing - make him promise to divorce his wife! If not, a Cartier 18 carrat white gold Trinity ring that you've been eyeing for quite some time might do the trick! Trick him into believing that since you are going to lose Jesus as your rock for this transgression, you need a rock of a different kind to carry you through this lifetime...And if that doesn't work, tell him to take his hands off your chest and return to his cold, aloof and asexual wife.

OH...is it 5pm already? Time for Yoga and Nina G's favourite part of the day - being in the 'down-dog' position and legs spread eagled. Pure bliss.